Quality not quantity

So, back to talking about boobs.

Logan, thankfully, has never had an issue with bottles. We gave him his first bottle when he was just over a month old, and after a few moments of, "What the hell...?" he finally figured it out, and he hasn't looked back since.

This skill was, of course, critical to me going back to work when I wouldn't be able to feed him myself.  So, once a week, we'd give him a bottle, just to keep bottles in the rotation so he wouldn't be too shocked when bottles began playing an increasing role in his feeds. In the weeks leading up to my return, we changed to one bottle a day, then two.

The week I went back, it was to increase to three. But then I started doing some math, and I thought he'd need four bottles while I was gone. At 4.5 ounces each, I was in a panic. There was no way I'd be able to pump that much, and my freezer stash was dwindling quickly.

I was considering supplementing with formula.

I wasn't happy about this. Formula is fine, and plenty of kids were given formula, not breastmilk, and they've done just fine. But breastmilk is better. I want to give Logan the best that I can, and that means breastmilk exclusively for six months.

My mom counseled patience. Let's see how things settle out between him eating and me pumping at work. I'm lucky in that I have the opportunity to pump at work, and I do so, four times a day (fun!) Logan only eats three times while I'm gone, not four as I had thought. On infrequent days, it's only two bottles.

So my mom was right; it isn't as bad as I'd feared. But that being said, I'm still not able to produce enough by pumping to replace what he eats on the days when he takes three bottles. I only can get enough for two bottles and maybe 1-2 extra ounces to put towards the third.

So, I don't get days off from pumping. Even when I'm home with him on weekends, I get in two pumping sessions to get some extra. I take fenugreek three times a day. It's an endless low level of frustration and panic, because I'm always thinking that this week may be the week when I just don't have enough, and we have to give him formula.

But, it isn't this week, or the next. In fact, I have enough that we can get through at least another month without worry. I'm just gunning for the six month mark, which is 2.5 months away. We'll start giving him solids at that time, so he won't need as much from me.

Maybe I can start taking a day off or two.